Fifth and sixth chemotherapy....

It has truly been an unforgettable week. Last Thursday my son had his weekly chemotherapy treatment. He only receive vincristine which is the fifteen minute treatment, but is the treatment that cause the worst side effects. As soon has they administered the chemo, Dalen went right to sleep. Friday came and he did not sleep has much as normal and was able to finish some missing school work. However on Saturday afternoon, I had to take him to the emergency room for a fever. They took his blood for testing and gave him an 24 hour antibiotic. We were in the ER from 4:00 pm until 10:30 pm. It was a long night, but his fever came down. On Sunday we had to return back to the ER for the second dose of the antibiotic. This was a very short visit. Dalen wasn't able to attend school on Monday because his body was exhausted. I was thinking since he only received the one chemo on Thursday that on Monday he would be ready to go, but from the two ER visits his body just didn't get enough rest. However, he was back to his self on Tuesday and Wednesday and was able to attend school. Then came Thursday again! It was a fight to get Dalen out the bed this morning, he wanted to stay home from school. He didn't want to go to treatment! He didn't want to drink his ensure! This morning was a fight! I just wanted to say "Okay Dalen let's stay home", but I couldn't. This journey is the most difficult situation I have ever had to go through, not being able to give my son what he wants is heart breaking. Seeing my son cry ever night wishing it could be just over, is heart breaking. Seeing the sadness on his face because he is so frustrated not be able to see, is heart breaking. I wish I could help him! I wish I could fix it! ...Earlier this week Dalen said" Mama, I'm not special as in handicap, I'm not normal because I can't see that good, so I'm just me!" My baby is trying to find a place to fit in. He's not able to be himself and it hurts him. He puts on a smile when he out, but he cries behind close doors. Please Lord make a way!...after today's chemotherapy treatment Dalen was invited to his past Elementary school to give a speech for their Black History Program, however he wasn't able to speak because he was to weak from the chemo. But to our surprise the school had a donation presentation for him. He was so surprised and honored to be so loved. Every day is a fight for Dalen but the love that has been showed, the prayers that has been sent, the cards that has been delivered, and the phone/text messages that has been made has been so up lifting. Please continue to pray for Dalen.....

Best weekend ever.....

I've been thinking about updating the blog since Thursday night, but have been enjoying my son and his wonderful smile. For the last past 11 years I have always thought that he will always be silly and his smile will never go away. You never think about what could happen that would prevent the norm. However, I now know how that feels not having my only child, my son Dalen Seals not be himself nor smiling. So these past couple of days I have been embracing his smile, his laughter, his silly jokes and all his entertaining ways. Dalen is my joy! He has changed my life completely. From the time he was born I knew he was something special. When I first held him in my arms, I felt an overwhelming love that I can't still to this day explain. He's happy again! He's smiling again! And I love it!!!.....This past Thursday Dalen did not do any Chemotherapy. I told the doctors about his vision lost on Wednesday night at the recreation center and they were shocked that this could be happening and became very concerned. The doctors held off one week of treatment to see what the eye exam would indicate. On Friday at dalen eye doctors appointment, we were told that his eyes have completely flipped flopped. His left eye , which originally was his lazy eye is now his best eye with the clearest view and his right eye is a blur. However, his brain is still using the right eye. Some how Dalen's brain will have to train itself to use the left eye again. This is why he can no longer see text messages or read any books. This journey has become a complete life change for him and myself. We thought that this chemotherapy would make everything better. But our God had another plan. We can not have more faith in man made medicine than our Savior. We are learning that all our faith must be in our Savior, He is in complete control. This whole journey is a learning experience for the both of us. Our Faith is stronger than ever before. Please continue to keep us in your prayers....Dalen played in his basketball game this Saturday. He did a super job! He has completed all his Math homework from the last couple weeks and is trying hard to complete other class work. Dalen is doing his best and that's all I can ask from him. #proudmom

Vision lost...

Dalen went to school on Tuesday and Wednesday (yesterday). I'm so proud of him. He has been through so many changes and he keeps on moving on. This week he has been extremely tired but no stomach pain. He sleeps majority of the day without eating but drinks his daily Ensure shakes....after school on Wednesday Dalen came up to the recreation center. He was doing just fine running around and playing with friends from his Elementary school. Around 5:00 pm Dalen runs towards me yelling mommy I can't see! Mommy I can't see! My eyes are getting worst mama! He was panicking and started bursting out in tears. I didn't know what to do; I just suggested that he sit down and relax. I somewhat already knew his eyes were decreasing because I often ask him questions about his vision through out the day. I talked to the doctors on Tuesday and schedule an eye appointment on Friday morning because I've been concerned about the decrease in vision. But Wednesday events really shock me! it seems like the vision is decreasing more rapidly nor dalen or myself expected this drastic eye vision loss. After Dalen calmed down, I told him to continue to keep calm. I reminded him of the last eye visit when the doctor had told him that his eye vision had flipped flopped but he still saw as usual. I wanted to break down and cry with him but I couldn't because I have to stay encouraged and know that everything will be just fine for him. This is the hardest situation I have ever had to go through. And I know it's harder for my Dalen. Today he will have his fifth chemotherapy treatment and doctor's appointment with the oncologist. Please continue to lift my son Dalen up in prayers. We believe God is able and everything happens in his plan and time.

Fourth treatment...

Dalen went to his fourth chemotherapy treatment yesterday. As we were getting in the car to head over to Arnold Palmer, Dalen became really emotional. He did not want to go to the clinic today because he had the worst week ever. He had stomach pain all week long that prevented him from going to school. He was constantly tired and drained that he slept through the day. He barely had enough strength to walk through the parking lot when we arrived to the hospital. It seem like ever couple of steps, Dalen had to squat down to try to regain some strength. My heart has been so heavy and my mind has been all over the place just seeing my son not being him self. We thought the routine would be the same ever week. Thursday: chemo, Friday and Saturday: sleep and pain, Sunday and Monday: not so sleepy and a little bit of pain, Tuesday and Wednesday: regain his strength back, and Thursday: we start all over again. This week was not the routine because Dalen was extremely tired and in pain the whole week. As we arrived to the second floor and check in, the receptionist ask Dalen if he had a magic trick. He could barely stand up to finish the trick. He went to sent down in the waiting area and instantly left because the room smelt like the clinic. As he set in the hallway without a chair, he looked at me and said "mommy I don't want to be here. I don't like the smell of the clinic, it makes me feel like I have to throw up." I wanted to tell my son lets go home but I couldn't! I wanted to cry right then in there but I couldn't! This is only the fourth treatment; he has at least forty eight more treatments to go. "Lord, please make a way. I need you right now to bless Dalen and this building." As we were sitting in the hallway, Dalen main doctor was stepping out for lunch. She saw Dalen sitting in the hallway in pain and told him that he does not have to take the vincristine today and that he will have x-rays done on his stomach. Finally, I saw a smile on my son face. Vincristine is one of the chemo medicines that he takes ever Thursday. But vincristine is the one that makes him so sleepy, drained, and causes the constant stomach pain. He was so happy, I was so happy! Maybe, my son can enjoy life and be that silly boy again. He went for x-rays for his stomach. They were looking to see if Dalen stomach had been damaged from the chemo. His stomach was fine! Thank you Jesus! He slept through his fourth chemo treatment, but he woke up smiling and energized. I was so amazed how energized , he was. He was walking without having to squat and the jokes were coming. He's back! God is so good! He is showing Dalen that He is always with him. Next week Dalen will have to go back to the two treatments,but that's okay because God has shown him that He will take good care of him always.

At the end of the treatment one of the nurses had asked him was he okay? Dalen said "Yes, by the Blood!"

Stomach Pain...

This third chemotherapy has been really tough for Dalen. He has stomach pain constantly with no relief. Since last Thursday he has not been to school. I've tried to get him to come to the recreation center just to get out the house but he gets so tired he's mainly sitting down or laying across a table. Doctors originally told me that he would be able to go to school after the chemo treatment but so far he is not able to do anything but sleep. Dalen told me today that he does not want to go to this Thursday treatment. The side effects Sucks! I wish I could tell my son that chemo treatment is over, but I can't. It's so hard to watch my son in such much pain and I can't help him. Lord I need you know, right now to intervene and grab a hold to our thoughts, our strength, and this pain. I've been receiving tons of prayers from text messages, Facebook, gospel radio prayer request, co-workers, my hair stylist, family and friends. Please listen to our prayers, Lord. We need your blessing and favor to shower upon.

Sleeping....

Dalen has been sleeping all day. This third chemotherapy treatment has completely drained him. Stomach pain is constant and nausea /vomiting is unbearable. He was so tired this morning he missed his basketball game. If you know my son missing a game means the end of the world, but not today because he was so exhausted. Please continue to pray for Dalen. This mountain is not to hard for our God. He will carry Dalen right over but on His time.

Third chemotherapy treatment....

Yesterday was Dalen's third chemotherapy treatment. Dalen walked in normal with the biggest smile on his face. He performed several new magic tricks that had everyone amazed and shaking their hands in shock. The day was going well until it was time to start the treatment process. As the nurse went to insert the needle into Dalen's port, his attitude changed instantly. He no longer had that big smile on his face nor were there anymore magic tricks. His personality went to sad and tired. My son looked at me and said " Mommy I don't want to do chemo." Tears begin to feel my eyes because I felt the same way, I don't want my son doing chemo anymore. Chemotherapy is like a bad person that every time you see or hear it your stomach turns and you feel disgusted. I knew my son was tired of this treatment. On the way to the treatment he mentioned how this would be our regular routine. On Thursday chemo treatment, then Friday and Saturday he's so sleepy drained, and in some kind of pain. Sunday and Monday, He is not so sleepy but still in pain and then on Tuesday and Wednesday He regains all his strength and feels just a little pain. However then it's Thursday again and It's starts back over! Dalen cried three times today during treatment from feeling so overwhelm. The registered nurse asked him several questions about how he was feeling, she asked if he wanted to talk to someone before treatment, did he need distractions before and during the process of the treatment and if he wanted to take a pill to ease the anxiety he was experiencing. My son's response blew me away! Dalen first answer was I'll take the distractions like videos games because I don't want to take another medicine with another side effect. He is tired of not being able to be Dalen because of all this medication. I had to reassure my son that it will be okay. God knows what He is doing. I remind him of the unbearable pain Jesus went through for us. Jesus pain wasn't in vain nor would Dalen's. This journey is not for the weak, because Dalen you were chosen. Dalen has to keep the faith that this journey is a testimony and he is already Healed in Jesus name Amen! Please keep my son in your prayers he and I need more strength, more faith, and more LOVE.