Seventh and Eighth treatment....

Last week, Dalen and I followed our Thursday routine to the clinic. Around 12:30 pm I arrive at his school for early pick up. He's happy when I see his face at sign-out but this instantly change when he opens the car door. As I prep the port site with a numbing cream, he starts to feel nausea. I ask" Dalen what is wrong?" He replies " Mom, I don't want to do chemo. Every time you put on this cream, I get sad. I just don't like chemo." My heart drops again has it always does, but what can I do? I remind Dalen of the 13 year old girl we met last week at the clinic and how she now makes treatments apart of her every day life. And how God will never have you go through anything without Him being there with you every step. We arrive at the clinic and Dalen emotions are all over the place. He doesn't sit in the waiting room anymore because the smell upsets his stomach. He sits in the hall with the saddest face. I know Dalen is upset because of the chemo, it shows all over his face. As we wait for the results from the Lab, the doctors inform us that They are going to drop the dosage of the vincristine because Dalen is really sensitive to this chemo drug. Vincristine is the 15 minute treatment that cause all the stomach, back, and jaw pain. I was happy to hear this but Dalen wanted to hear "No chemo today". The week went by okay. Dalen did not have any jaw or back pain but there were stomach pain. The stomach pain wasn't as bad as normal. He was also, extremely tired and lost his appetite. However by the following Tuesday, he was back to school. The school is now training Dalen on the device that will help him see the board in class. This device enlarges items and display them on its screen. He was so excited about this and so was I. He is also, learning how to type and how to read Braille. Dalen was very excited about learning to type and read braille. He told me that its super cool and that if he goes blind he will already be prepared :( ..Today, we follow our normal Thursday routine. However, when we arrive to the clinic Dalen asked the doctor can they do the surgery to remove the tumor after he learns how to type and read Braille. Tears begin to roll down my face. My baby hates chemo and the way it makes him feel so much that he rather go blind then go through chemo. Here I am thinking that this past week was okay for him. That maybe Dalen is getting comfortable. Dalen loves to entertain people. He loves to make every one laugh. He loves to play basketball. But this chemo is stopping him from doing all the things he love. Sometimes being a strong mom is so hard!...the doctors informed Dalen that surgery would not be a good decision because the tumor is on his nerves that could damage more then just his sight. She talked about other methods like radiation and chemo in forms of pills with us. She also, informed us that this is the introduction to chemo and in a couple of weeks Dalen will not be receiving chemo treatments for two weeks. His routine will be four weeks on chemo then two weeks off. Dalen's big smile appeared and here came a joke! How exciting, no chemo for two weeks!...please everyone continue to pray for Dalen. ...The outside appearance may not show how the inside really feels.